Monday, June 30, 2008

Better Late than Never

Holy crap, long time no post. When I began this venture I suppose I had no idea how much school, a job, and my own crippling laziness would affect my ability to write a 4-5 paragraph article each week. In the back burner of my brain I had planned to use this entry to talk about Persona 3, but with all the time and interesting news that has taken place, I suppose I'll hit on some of the latest and greatest in Video Game news.

First off, Soul Calibur IV. Wow. I can't honestly say where to begin with all of this, and there is so much, I think I'll just hit all the major points as quickly as possible. Darth Vader and Yoda are in (As exclusive characters for the PS3 and 360 respectively), along with a few new canon "Soul Calibur" characters and Bonus Characters from guest artists I could not be less enthused about (except for Hilde). I know that Soul Calibur has been pushing the S&M-esc, "Hell Bent for Leather" Outlet Store look since Voldo broke out of his dungeon of pleasure and pain, but Nipple Spikes and Goth Lolitas with wire mesh dresses are where I put my foot down (On some undeserving slave's face... wait, what what were we talking about again?). A new gameplay mechanic has come in the way of "Armor Breaks", which give your opponent decreased defense and a opening for a "Critical Finish." Imagine the "Fatal KO" system from Hokuto No Ken, and you've pretty much got it. For those of you who don't import games, imagine a thinking man's version of the "Destroy" moves in the Guilty Gear series. Recently, another new character has been announced for both versions in the form of Darth Vader's secret apprentice from Star Wars: The Force Unleashed (Which I think marks the first cross promotion of a game before it's actually been released), and the hot little rumor making it's way through the internet is that Kratos from the God of War series will be playable for the PS3 (Which to me says that there will be another corresponding 360 exclusive, and with the randomness of characters so far it could be anyone from Master Chief to the Frank from Dead Rising). I can honestly no longer say how I think this game will be without contradicting myself a dozen times. All I can say with any level of certainty is that it is going to either be the best game of the series of a total flop, there really is no third direction here.

A more recent spring up of gaming information came this last weekend in the form of Diablo 3's revelation. So far all Blizzard has shown is the cinematic intro and some gameplay of the Barbarian and Witch Doctor ( or as I like to call him, Necromancer 2.0) classes. Also, apparently you can now choose either gender for any of the classes, so now alpha males and butch lesbians the world over can no longer live in fear of gender confusion on

Nintendo has announced that it will be releasing Mega Man 9, in 8-bit. Apparently the Blue Bomber is going old school for his latest en devour to save the world from his robot peers. The game is going to be released as a WiiWare game, but it has recently been rumored that MM9 will make it to XBLA and PSN. Capcom has been fairly mum on the subject, telling folks to wait until E3, but this triple treat to nostalgic gamers in their 20s and 30s is too good of an offer for Microsoft and Sony to pass on without a fight. Villains of this game include Cement Man, Jewel Man, Plug Man (Oh the sexual innuendo), and Splash Woman (For as long as Wily's been making these damn things, I'm shocked it's taken him this long to make a female. Remember kids, robots don't say no.)

I'll leave you this time with news on the latest Castlevania news: the newest console Castlevania title will be coming to the Wii, and it's a 3-D Fighter. I'll give you a minute to take that in. Go ahead, look back at the beginning of the paragraph, click the link. Ready yet? Good, because you can now join me in my next sentence. What. The. Fuck.